Confession

So I have something I need to admit but at the same time I don't want to say it out loud because that would be truly admitting it. So I am writing it here.

So since the dream I had about Bryan that I wrote about I have had several more (similar but more realistic) and I can't stop thinking about him. I know it is sad and I am not really thinking that anything will happen but there is a part of me and that part seems to be the louder part that really wants something to happen with Bryan. It is kind of annoying and I have to admit out of all the people that I have liked and possibly liked I have never felt this way before. It is a weird feeling for me. It is also a new and kind of exciting feeling that gets stronger everyday that it gets closer to June 19th. Well in one of my dreams I could sleep the night before Bryan came home and so my boss sent me home because I was exhausted and moving to slow. That dream may come true because I have not been sleeping that well at night since it became June and it is getting harder and harder for me to get up for work and I work across the street from where I live and I don't have to be to work until 9 am so 8:30 should not be that hard to get up by. Today I didn't get up until 9:30 oops. Well part of that is the fact that it was raining this morning and so it was darker in my room so I wasn't sure what time it was until I got a phone call from an unavailable number and looked at the clock and saw it was 9:30. It was weird because songs that I like that before didn't make me think of anything cause me to think of Bryan. Is this how you married people felt about the guy you are married to. I am not sure what is going on and I am so confused.