Paranoia!!

I know that I am probably just being paranoid but as of late I have had this feeling that I just can't get rid of. I have felt like the people that I hang out with would prefer if I didn't really hang out with them. I feel welcome and the events where everyone in the complex and their friends are invited but the other things I feel like I shouldn't have come. Part of this has come from parts of conversations that I have over heard that I probably shouldn't have heard any portion of.

In return this feeling has made me miss all the people that I use to hang out with who are not in my life as often because of jobs, school, or distance that have come between us. In that I wish I could invent the telaporter so that I can just transport myself to Florida to hang out with friends from high school, or see my mom, transport myself to Pennsylvania so I can see my oldest brother, transport myself to Missouri so I can see Shane, Becca, Jon, James, and meet little Adam, transport myself to South Dakota to see Chris and Theresa, etc. I think you get the picture I would be doing a lot of traveling to see these people, mostly on the weekends and I would transport us places for vacations like Hawaii, the Bahamas, Italy, England, Australia, etc. Then again that would put all the pilots out of business once there was a telaporter in every home so that might be a bad thing it would also put car makers out of work since there would be no need for cars and we could tear up the streets and plant trees and grass. There would be less polution. It could be nice but a lot of people would be out of a job which might hurt the economy.
Oh well I don't even know how to go about inventing it so I guess I will just have to go on missing my friends.

Maybe I feel this way because of the time of year it is I might be pushing people away from me because then if something did happen to them it won't hurt as bad but that is retarded because they are already in my life and have impacted me in ways they don't even know about.

Another theory I have is maybe it is time to move on and go somewhere else and start a new chapter in my life but where should I go and is it just to another place in Utah with older singles (around my age) or another state completely.

Questions that have come up while writing this post:
Where is it the Lord would have me go and why do I need to go there?
Why do I have to feel like all of my friends are abandoning me to get me to even think that?
What is the next step I should be taking in my life?
Is my time coming to end and I am feeling this way so that when the time comes I won't put up a fight and be able to except what the Lord wants for me in my life?
Has the Lord been telling me something that I have been ignoring?
Am I missing something?
Am I forgetting all the things that Lord has done for me and allowed Satan to enter my life to give me such feelings?
Am I just going through the motions and not drawing closer to the Lord which I need to be doing every sec of every day?
What is wrong with me?
Why can't I shake this stupid feeling?
Why do I have to care about people so much?
Why do I push people away in my life?
Why can't I get over my past?
Where do I stand with the Lord?
Why can't I accept the Lord's will in all things?

Well I should stop writingthis post until I dwell so much on it that I start to cry or worse start believing the stupid feeling.